My heart ... at peace

i don't know where to begin. If I wrote more often I wouldnt have this problem. Well i think that God is doing some pretty cool healing in me lately. When Anelecia and I did acct ability tuesday God convicted me the instant anelecia started praying that I needed to let go of my fear of guys and relationships with them. And so I did. Thats why the tears came. And God did even more on wednesday night.
i was having a conversation with lindsay about my dreams lately, and the fact that Brian has been in them so much. I've never felt like there was closure to that relationship. It just sort of ended without words. Anyways linds asked me if I prayed for him and I said yes, but not much. I confessed that I can never get passed "Lord Bless Brian and his wife" before my heart starts to ache and I stop. So she started to pray for me and the Lord convicted me instantly that it was time to let go. It was time to heal the right way, with or without the closure i thought I needed. Linds said she felt that I needed to pray for him out loud. SO i crawled into bed with LInds and tried to start praying but it like my mouth was being wired shut, literally... it was weird. like the enemy didnt want this to happen... and so I knew all the more it must be important that it happen. I struggled and prayed a silent prayer and the words started to come. The tears streamed and I gave it to God, gave him to God. Prayed God would bless his marriage. It hurt but I knew it was right and good all at once. And I knew when it was over, when I was done, because the Lords peace filled me up in a way it hasn't in a long time. I felt that little glimpse of heaven in my heart in the peace I felt.
I am so thankful that the Lord works in us and removes obstacles we don't even realize are there. God is good. I am so thankful for everything that you are doing in my heart Father. I trust you to continue to do a good work in me. Abba thanks for the peace that you give,when you wrap us in your love and it's better than anything. Better than being wrapped up in any boys arms.(smile)Thank you for breaking so that you may heal. Your rod and your staff DO comfort me. Praise you Lord! I love you daddy. In Jesus precious name , amen